Monday today and I am not sure quite how I am going to get through the day yet, let alone the week. It is early in the morning and so far only one of my kiddies are in with the others to arrive within an hour, but I am already exhausted.
So, we were sixteen weeks on Saturday which makes us sixteen weeks and two days today. That is pretty cool. Time is moving so quickly.
I think I can now safely confirm that the weird fluttering and rolling sensations I have had in my belly over the last few days is definitely El Bambino getting his/her groove on in there. Since I first thought I felt something a week or so ago (but wasn't sure) the feelings have intensified and gotten more frequent. I notice it especially in the evening when I am sitting or lying down trying to relax as well as after I have just eaten. Baby gets very excited after I eat :) Obviously a food lover, just like Daddy. Now I just can't wait until Ben can feel the baby move as well.
15 weeks in, almost halfway, and by now I thought I would be getting used to everything. But that just seems so damn impossible. Every day there is something new. At least it keeps life on its toes.
It’s starting to get a bit more real. There is a little attempt at a bump coming along. The internet is telling me that our baby is about 15cm long at the moment. This is quite a jump when I consider it was 8mm on the first ultrasound, only 8 weeks ago! Alison has mentioned a few times that it kind of feels like some movement. That is supposed to start being noticeable any time now. Stuff is actually starting to happen. I’m excited (and still unbelievably terrified).
Alison is having a much better time with the whole morning sickness issue. There has been the odd crappy day thrown in the mix but overall it has not been too bad. I don’t think that the heat has been helping either. It seems to sap the life out quicker than it can be replaced. Alison seems to keep forgetting that a handful of sultanas and a couple of Jatz could do her for the day before pregnancy. But that doesn’t really work now. Alison has said to me a couple of times that she never understood what I meant when I would say that I wasn’t feeling well and needed to eat something or recharge in front of the air con. She works differently… used to work differently. Now she’ll try to eat something, or have a drink, or sit in the cool for 10 minutes. Slowly but surely we are working out what all the signs are, and what needs to be done about them.
For all the inconveniences that keep popping up, I am constantly impressed by her strength. Alison’s ability to adapt amazes and surprises me. She has been pushed, kicked, and dragged through the seven layers of pregnancy hell. The best I could do was to try and make it the most comfortable ride as possible. Alison has been admitted to hospital countless times, thrown up for 12 weeks straight, dealt with the occasional strong burst of emotions, and still she fights. There is nothing more I could ask of her. Alison has surpassed all conceivable challenges and then some. I am so proud of her. There will be no better mother for our baby.
Well in to the second trimester. Fifteen weeks tomorrow. Practically 4 months pregnant. Almost...
In the meantime... I can honestly say I never expected pregnancy to be this hard.
There, I’ve said it. I am only (almost) 4 months pregnant with my first child and so far I can safely say that I’m not digging the pregnancy thing at all. This is a confession I have been reluctant to make out loud to anyone other than Ben. I mean... we are pregnant with our first baby! Yay us! Everyone is excited! Don’t you love being pregnant? Everyone else does! It’s magical! It’s wonderful! It is the best thing ever!
Except... it's not. Not what I am experiencing anyway.
Reality: Pregnancy is terrifying. I don’t know what’s going on with my body 99.9% of the time. No one tells me what’s normal and what’s not, so I resource most of my own information which is often scary/conflicting/both. My emotions are hectic. Ben used to think my PMS was pretty scary sometimes, but I think lately he has dreaming of happier time when is wife was merely slightly homicidal and cranky for a few days of the month. Now we are both on a perpetual roller coaster ride of my hormones and
the associated emotional highs and lows. Mainly lows.