Morning sickness, it is supposed to be one of the most horrible parts of pregnancy, for the woman. But what they don’t tell you is the pain and struggle that the man goes through. I have sworn that amongst the advice I give my brother when he has his first child will be the following information;
The expecting mother’s sense of smell will be increased ten thousand times. She is now even able to detect if you think about cooking bacon. She is even able to hone in on the sound of food, making it almost impossible to eat where she can hear you. So my advice is expecting fathers should learn to enjoy food that is cold, with no smell, and makes as little noise as possible. From my personal experience I have learned to love cereal from a plastic bowl. I have also learned that no cooking is able to be done, what I wouldn’t do for a poached egg on toast. I tried twice to cook what I thought were innocent simple foods, both failed miserably. Once, Alison was out so I thought it would help to make some mini quiches for dinner. When she returned she broke down because the house smelt like bacon and eggs (a smell that the other 99.9% of the human race enjoy). That night we had to sleep in the car. Another time I was told that vegetable soup was a good staple for pregnant women. So I made some. I tried to make some. It wasn’t even boiling when I heard a “what is that smell!!!” (Yes 3 exclamation points are necessary). I then found my wife huddled in the wardrobe to escape the smell. We spent that night at mum’s house.
It will seem at times that she is evolving into as brand new species. Sleeping at odd hours of the day, craving anything that you don’t have in the house, and emotions that change at the drop of a hat. For example right now for example its 11:45 and Alison is asleep on the couch. This is the second time today. And her last craving was for banana sippa straws and ginger honey toast. For my own safety I am not even going to go into the emotions.
However I have seen firsthand now what morning sickness does to the expecting mother. I don’t want to scare anyone off getting pregnant but it seems to be one of the most debilitating conditions that the human body deals with. Uncontrollable nausea at all times of the day with no way of fixing it, it just has to run its course. Alison however has been diagnosed with severe hyperemesis gravidarum, basically hard-core morning sickness. So far she has been hospitalised twice, had several scripts of anti-nausea medication and a few days ago I took leave from work to stay home and help with day care and the house. I won’t go into a huge amount of detail but there have been some really rough times over the last few weeks. But there is that little voice in the back of my head that says it will all be worth it.
So that’s what has been happening. But what is going on in my head you ask. Well… um… I don’t really seem to have time for what’s going on in my head. I’m not saying that to make a sympathy point for myself. I am saying that to put it into perspective. Non parents haven’t gone through this so they may not understand, and fathers that have gone through this same situation I can only assume that it was much the same for you.
I said earlier that I would love a poached egg on toast or to whip up a nice big delicious pizza but I can’t. First and foremost because the smell alone would probably get me shot. But now there are more important things on my metaphorical plate:
I now have an ever changing timetable in my head. I’ve got a to-do list which I’m constantly adding and subtracting from.
I’m preparing for Alison’s next craving, while desperately removing the now hated evidence of the last.
I am finding that because of these new priorities my brain sometimes acts or speaks before my newly fitted filters kick in. This quite often gets me in trouble.
An enigma of new senses that Alison doesn’t even understand energy, hunger, sleep, nausea, all vying for supremacy over each other.
The cravings, and please don’t just think I mean food. We have had cravings like wanting to go walking around the streets at 11:00pm, and to get pancakes straight out of hospital.
And how much space she needs. Sometimes Alison wants me with her, beside her comforting and just enjoying life. Then at other times there is no place in the known universe that is far enough away. As soon as I think that I might know what mood she was in I could not be further from the truth.
And to be quite honest the next mood swing could be a slip of the tongue away. Then everything has blown over in 5.7 seconds flat. At times it makes me feel like one of the original convicts stealing a loaf of bread, getting the hefty sentence and sent to the prison colonies and receiving 40 lashes. I then got shipped back to London like nothing ever happened.
Anyway, yes there are things going on in my head. These are some of those things along with the other million items.