Lately I have been feeling the full spectrum of my emotions. I can't quite decided whether to blame it on hormones, the heat or just on being plain fed up with everyone having an opinion on everything I do, say, eat, buy, wear... you get the idea.
I know. I should have been prepared for this, right? There is a stereotypical expectation that when pregnant, you will get inundated with unwanted advice and opinions. I did expect it... to an extent... but I guess I was still a little naieve.
The truth is, I wasn't prepared for how exhausting it would be or how much some comments can genuinely upset or irritate me.
I try to tell myself that it is meant well, and mostly I can genuinely tell you that it is. However, there have been times when I know there has been a derisive undertone or snide remark thrown in for good measure. There have been times when I have wanted to grab the person by the hair and shake them, and there have been times when I have stared, pretty much open-mouthed at some of the bull crap that people try to tell me. I mean, come on people. I am well aware that this is my first biological child but I have been studying Early Childhood Education for quite some time now. Don't get me wrong, I would be the first person to agree that studying a degree doesn't mean you know jack about children and the realities of life when kids are involved. However, at this time I would like to mention that I have also been working, full-time, 12 or more hour days for quite a few years now, in my own home WITH CHILDREN! I have dealt with my fair share of sick kids, nappies, tempers, fussy eating, fussy settlers, medical conditions, snotty noses and grotty hands. I have also been exposed to a massive variety or methods to raise children and Ben and I have used these expereinces to shape how we will raise our son. This is nothing new to me people. So please, keep you opinions and freely offered advice to yourself! If you have had children of your own, you had your turn so bugger off! If you haven't had any children of your own yet, you'll have your turn one day, so bugger off!
When you’re pregnant, people don’t just have opinions on what you should and shouldn't be doing, but they’ve also got opinions on how you should look. I’ve been told everything from, ‘Gee, you really look pregnant’ through to, ‘You don’t have a very big belly!’ At over five months pregnant, I do look it, and I think I look exactly what I’m supposed to look like at this stage of my pregnancy. No two bodies are the same, so it makes sense that no two pregnant bodies are going to be the same. There’s no 'right' way to look.
Seeing your body change when pregnant is quite incredible – it’s amazing, but it’s also frightening and overwhelming, at times. The last thing I need to be told is how pregnant I look. I can’t bend down in the shower to shave my legs properly anymore; do you think I need anyone telling me my belly is growing?
It’s not the right or the responsibility of anyone to pass judgment, comment or advice onto pregnant women, so if you are reading this and you have any advice to offer up... bugger off!
On a more pleasant note...
Somehow these weeks keep flying by and baby is getting bigger and bigger. When Ben and I found out back in August that we were going to welcome a baby into the world I don’t think we had any clue what to expect. (I’m referring to this pregnancy…not having a baby because clearly, we still have little idea of the reality of a baby. Our baby will sleep all the time, only cry for short amounts of time and just be smiley and happy…right? )
We were pretty surprised and probably in disbelief for the first 2-3 months. Even hearing baby’s heart beat and getting ultrasounds didn’t totally make it real. Once you walk out of the Doctor's office and back in to the real world, it can be hard to accept that there is a human being growing inside you. I always envisioned when I got pregnant there would be lots of smiling, excitment and tears but to be honest that didn’t come really come until the 12th or so week. I will admit that I felt pretty detached in the beginning. Like I had to fake a lot of the happiness as I was really just overwhlemed... and lets face it as sick as a dog. While I was always somewhat excited, the surprise and disbelief kind of got the best of me.
Fast forward to now, 23 weeks, and now I couldn’t be more excited! I’ve spent the past few weeks taking time to lay down each day and watch our little boy kick and move across my belly, something that is truly alien like. I think it is things that this that have really made it feel real to me. I guess you can't really ignore it anymore when there is a little creature getting his groove on inside your uterus.
Physically I am feeling great, which is a nice change. I have to watch what I eat as I seem to be prone to reflux (especially at night, which is fun) and I don't think my belly button is too far off popping but all in all I feel just like myself again with the addition of the aforementioned internal creature.
I have been having a ball shopping and arranging the nursery for our little man and trying to be as prepared as possible for his arrival. Some have said too prepared (those helpful advice givers again) but I don't believe that is possible. And so what if it is. I even made some cute size dividers for his wardrobe today that I am pretty happy with. Here are some of my most recent purchases and things I have been up to:
Well, thats it for tonight kids!