Is it just me, or does anyone else find it absurd that at this present time nothing makes my vagina happier than a small, Lightening McQueen ice pack that is intended for toddler's bumps and bruises.
Sure, I could understand it if a child had recently used my vag as her passageway into the world... as will inevitabely happen before too long. But, as aforementioned child is still stubbornly cooking away inside, I am seriously pissed off that I already need to chill my bits.
Full disclosure: I did have some initial concerns that icing my tunnel may, in fact, deter said child from deciding to make her entry in to the world. Would she feel the cold on her head and try and dig back up, deeper inside? For someone who is so desperate for baby's hasty exit, this was a serious concern. However, after a lot of consideration I have come to the conclusion that as it is so freaking hot here at the moment, I actually feel like I am doing her a favor at the same time as taking care of my own discomfit. Any Australian kid will confirm that there is nothing worse that sliding down a slippery dip that has been baking in the heat. I will leave that up to your imagination. I actually feel like I am offering a much more pleasant alternative for my child.
Ice, ice baby!